Odin at 2 months

Well Odin is a great baby! We are comparing this to Soph who never slept the first few months of her life! He is smiling, for the most part content unless he has business that needs to happen, and is loved very much by his siblings! He had his well baby check up and our little guy is still very little. He has only gained 2 lbs since his birth! He is in the 5th percentile. There is a part of me that gets a little sad when I look at him and think about how small he is, but then I have to remember that he is doing well. He is a great sleeper, ok at nursing and that Soph was small also in the beginning. Just not 5th percentile....We will see what the doctor wants us to do with him when we take him in a couple of months for another of his well baby visit.

Odin's Birth Story

Odin came two weeks earlier than we had anticipated. I had an appointment for a non stress test and during that it was discovered that the amniotic fluids were low. It had dropped significantly over 2 days and it was a concern. The older kids were being watched by our friend Shelly and John was at work. I was trying to be strong and not get emotionally overwhelmed, but as soon as I heard John's voice on the line when I called him at work, the floodgates opened. Initially, the nurse told me that once in L/D, they would run some test and then they would see from there. I was really banking on them sending me home because I was not ready for Odin to be here yet. There was still a lot of things that I needed to do before he arrives! After a few hours, lots of visits from lots of different doctors, it was decided that labor was going to happen that day.

John took the kids back from Shelly and then took them to my mom's for the night. Around midnight I sent John back home because he had been up that morning since 4:30. He was hesitant about going, but he went home anyways. A few hours after he took off, things progressed quickly. The epidural was no longer working for me. I was having the shakes all over, which I had never had before with any of the other children. I called John to let him know that it was time. During the half and hour before he got there, I thought that he was going to miss the delivery. At that point I was very ok for that! Finally the doctors came, John came and then Odin came swiftly afterwards.

Odin had a massive amount of dark hair, super long eyelashes, and big hands just like his big brother. Perfect baby! We stayed at the hospital for 2 days where Odin did nothing, but sleep. Not I nor the nurses could get him to wake up and eat. When we went in to the pediatrician's for a well baby check up a few days later, Odin had lost a significant amount of weight. So we had to go back in a week, a week later, we had to go back in another week. Finally they were ok with his weight gain.


Sweet sleeping baby

Soph happily holding little brother

 

Magnus is moving onto 2nd grade

Magnus is growing and learning so much this year. With the Academy class focusing on Home Ec, Magnus can do lots of things in the kitchen and he is a great help! In fact he is a lot better in the kitchen than his Dad is! He has been reading a lot too. We love that he is a book worm. One time we had to tell him that he couldn't read and walk at the same time because he had tripped! Along with an enjoyment in reading he continues to excel way above his grade level. He is learning about friendships and there's a lot that still needs work, but he has come so far from last year. He is opening up and speaking to people. It is a great thing to see in him!

I know this post is a little late, as he is almost done with this year. I still wanted to capture the moment though!

part 3 of my dad

I am thankful that I am nothing like him. Although he passed down his horrible genes to me, that is all that I carry from him. It's a burden lifted to think that he is no longer suffering or making anybody else suffer because of him. There is peace in my heart and a thankfulness that a plan was laid out for my life. I have had so much blessings poured upon me. So many friends who will pray for me, cry with me, and help me to grow to become a better person. I am thankful that I don't have history repeating itself for my children. They are truly loved by their father and will never know the pain and suffering I endured living without a wise and righteous dad.

part 2 of my dad

When my sister called the other day to tell me of the news about my dad's death, I felt no emotions. I know it must have been a shock to my sister, but I don't have the connections that perhaps she might have had with him. Afterwards when I was telling John about it, it finally hit me. I was saddened, but not necessarily for my "dad". I didn't feel a loss. It's just always sad when a life is lost. It makes you think about their life and how much you either want to emulate it or not.

As I pondered about his death throughout the day, I am thankful that he is no longer suffering. He has had to have his leg amputated in the last few years due to his illness. His chances of providing for himself was nil. He relied on the kindness of relatives, but he never changed his wicked ways. Even in his misery, he was still a jerk. A few months back, my mom got a call from one of her relatives complaining about my dad. He had taken a taxi to her house, uninvited, and upon getting there, told her that she needed to pay for the taxi ride. He did this not once, but twice! This is very much his typical mode of operation. Needless to say he was not loved by many people.

One thing that I am grateful to him for was procreating with my mom. Without that I wouldn't be here. If I wasn't here, I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband and have my wonderful kids. It took me a long time to release my guilt about not supporting him financially because he is my "dad". I came to realize that I couldn't fix him and sending him a monthly stipend wouldn't fix him.

To be continued....

Resuming blogging

I haven't written on here for the longest time because life has gotten quite busy....Today I got news that my "dad" past away. I use quotations because although he is my dad, I have never known him to be that. When I was born in Thailand, (as we were migrating from Cambodia to US) my dad decided that he didn't want to come along the journey to the US. He felt that there was not going to be an opportunity for him here like he would if he would go back to Cambodia. So he left our family. My mom became a single parent, to 2 older children from a previous marriage, my sister 4 years older than I, and me being a newborn only 20 days old. That's a number my mom will never forget or forgive about.

So some how, some way we found our way here to the US. I was 4 years old. We never heard from or about my dad for many years afterwards. My earliest memory of him contacting us was when I was in the 4th grade. He must have gotten our address from one of my mom's relatives and would send us letters asking for money. Whenever I would hear about him, it would make me so mad. Being younger I didn't know why and couldn't understand my feelings. My mom never forced the subject onto me and I was thankful for it.

This occurrs every so often throughout the years. As I got older, I never gave him any of my thoughts. He was like someone who was an acquaintance. Over time, his health deteriorated. Since he is in a 3rd world country, he doesn't have an official diagnosis. It's just a sad sad life. He was living with the choices that he made. 

To be continued...

My 9/11

When this happened 10 years ago, I was working for one of our local banks and John and I had only been married about 2 months. I went to work as usual and people were acting really strange. Really quiet, slow moving and the complete opposite of the chatterbox group of people that we were. Finally getting frustrated I asked what the deal was. Then I felt like an idiot. A rush of emotions came flooding by. I remember some lady saying something like the end of the world was coming and that was scary enough for me. I was a fairly new believer at this point in my life and I was only 20. I called John at home who was still sleeping because he had to work a late shift the night before. He answers the phone and I am trying to tell him what happened, but all that came out were confusion and tears. Finally I asked him to pray for all of us. After I got off the phone and the day progressed, it was like we were all zombies. Once it was speculated that it was a terrorist act, a customer was saying that we are probably going to go to war. That was awful. The next flood of emotions was, "please no. I have only been married for a little while and if we go to war my husband would be drafted and since we were young he would be one of the first ones to go. I didn't want to be alone without my husband."

That was all that I remember from that day. I couldn't watch the news of the images of the jets crashing into the building because my heart could not handle it. I didn't want to think of all the wives and families who were losing a loved one.

image source

Fast forward to now and I can finally handle watching the documentaries on the History Channel. Now I can see the strength of many that came to help. The strength of the many moms out there who are raising their children without their fathers. It is so powerful. I only wish I had an ounce of their courage.